We’ve all had those moments where you want to curl up in a ball under a duvet and hide. Like when I was a little napper and called my teacher ‘Mam’, or the time another teacher read out a Valentine’s card I was sending, to the entire classroom (guess I didn’t have much luck with teachers 😂).
And whilst those examples are pretty trivial, sometimes we’re faced with harder realities. I lost my Grandma in January last year, and it was really difficult for me. She was my last Grandparent and due to covid restrictions our time had been cut short, as visits to the home she lived in became limited to just two people when the Omicron variant started to spread.
Although I never got to say my final goodbyes, in a way I did. Me and my now wife Christine had relocated from London to the North East just four months before she passed. Our new home is around the corner from where my Grandma lived, and I got to visit her a few times before the covid restrictions kicked in again. She was thrilled to have me back home and was so pleased I was getting married, and I was thrilled to be in her company and within walking distance for the first time in twelve years.
Those memories of her gave me strength in her passing. I put on a brave face for my family and celebrated her life, reflecting on the positive impact she and my Grandad had on my life. Deep down I was hurting, but I didn’t show it - I continued on.
That curl up and hide under a duvet moment could for a number of reasons like: a really hard break up, an illness, being let go of your job, being publicly humiliated, receiving a rejection, making a mistake, running low on cash, experiencing a difficult conversation or struggling through a bad meeting at work.
But in the face of it all the action is the same - accept, adapt and move forward!
Today I’m talking to you about Resilience, and why it’s one of the key values you need to adapt to improve you and those around you.
Sometimes it is all about you! Your mood affects everyone around you, so manage your feelings and show the world the best version of you. A smile can light up a room, but negative energy brings everyone down with you.
Adapt a survivor mentality: don’t get too caught up worrying about the issue and work out the solution. Reframe your thoughts and look for ways to tackle the issue and turn that negative into something positive.
We learn from our experiences, and we learn more from bad than good.
Focus on what’s next. If this was your movie, what happens in the next scene? Every great story has friction and stumbles along the way. The hard times shape who you become.
Go for a walk or run and get away from your desk or the dreaded duvet.
Be persistent if you get a knock back. Stop, go again and take another swing.
Choose the right support network and limit your circle of influence. Don’t go to people that give you bad advice or negativity. Surround yourself with people with great advice.
Look after yourself. Eat right, get the right amount of sleep in, and exercise regularly.
Set personal and professional goals to better yourself and take it one small step at a time.
When you start to feel your emotions building up, take a slow deep breath, keep calm and stay in control (breathing slowly will lower your heart rate).
Enjoy more wholesome moments. Your weekend doesn’t have to revolve around drinking, visit an art gallery or museum, meet up for coffee, or have a nice little picnic.
Music affects your mood too, so listen to slow, calming music. My go to playlists on Spotify are Ambient Essentials and Modular Synths.
Make more time for you; get stuck into a hobby, learn something new, cook a nice meal, reorganise a room, read a book, or watch an inspiring documentary.
Things always get better, and you have the power to be strong and overcome.
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